JULIAN H. STACEY - PHONE NUMBERS

English: For business I can speak English, German or very slow French
Deutsch: Ja, für Geschäft, können wir Deutsch reden.
Francais: Oui, pour le travail, je comprend Francais, mais tres lentment, si vous plait !

• YOU _MUST_ SPEAK FIRST !
• I often pick up & say NOTHING !
• You dialed my number: You Speak First! Identify yourself! You expect it's me. I don't expect it's You ;-) I have no idea who you are UNTIL YOU SPEAK FIRST.
• If you happen to call during or after yet another wave of criminal Indians, you may get the silent treatment. Friends are intelligent enough to speak, giving me their pronunciation of my name or theirs, & which human language, & a chance to recognise their voice.
• I am plagued by criminal Indians from call centres, faking Microsoft Support. I don't even USE Microsoft ! Which compounds the agravation.
• I have a Lot of numbers, & periodically get swamped by persistent cold callers working through all the numbers.
• Most callers for years have been Indian, un-regulated by Indian government. All the Indian criminals give very rare honest Indian callers a bad name.
• Callers who phone with a background of music or call centre, whose robots then wait for recipient human voice before they assign one of their sellers or criminals are bad enough.
  
• When then speak in Indian accented German lieing they are from Microsoft it's an open invite to swear at them, hang up on, put them on hold to lock up their line, or play them an mp3 audio track in German, equivalent of eg: "Hallo ... Sorry ... What do You want ... Ah ... This is my friend's line, please wait while I fetch my friend ... Are you still there ? Good hold on a minute I'll try upstairs ... Sorry wasn't there, I'll try downstairs, Please hold..."
• Politeness is totally in-appropriate: Best whistle or swear loudly & vilely at them about their sex, religion or whatever most outrages them. They are parasites, make them hate & dump their criminal job, &/or mark your number in their lists as one for their colleagues to avoid.
• There's YouTube videos of hijacked web cams spying back inside a nest of Indian criminals, go search!
• Numeric Caller ID:
  • My current desk phone doesn't display numeric caller ID. Wouldn't help much if it did:
  • Some cold callers use analogue lines, or suppress caller ID, or fake caller ID, regular with criminals.
  • My previous PC display of caller name has failed, till I get time to fix it, (Name is extracted from numeric look up table in an xterm, from S0 ISDN on gateway PC.
• More

I can also chat in German with friends & colleagues, but if you Cold Call me in German, you have just seconds to declare you want to Buy Computer Consultancy, & are not another time Waster (aka phone spammer / call marketer etc).

Unless you quickly state your intention to pay me Money for computer consultancy ... Rules below apply to phoning me ! - Else I hang up.

• I get a LOT of wasters (aka spammers) phoning me.
• So I answer "Hallo!" nothing more. You know who you've called, you have the advantage,
  Immediately say what you want & who you are. Else I hang up.
• Most un-recognised voices in German are just wasters selling junk.
  That makes it difficult to recognise new customers calling me.
  Meist unbekannte Stimmen in Deutsch versuchen mir etwas zu verkaufen, also es ist in ihre eigene besten interesse, entweder English zu sprechen, oder erklaren sie schnell & Klar, welche Computer Consultancy sie kaufen wollen.
• Depending which phone number you ring from your end, & to which number my end, & time & day in week, & language, I take a guess if you're yet another waster, or someone I want to talk to. That guess dictates how long before I hang up.
• Maybe I'll say eg "Hallo" & nothing more & wait.
• I get too many junk sellers phoning, I hang up in a few seconds.
• You know who you hoped to call, & what you want.
• Say what you want & who you are.
• I don't hold on the line if I suspect another time waster. !
• Occasionally callers are too obtuse or arrogant & try to force me to identify my name before they identify their number, name, what they want, & sometimes even their language.
• I've knows Germans British & other nationals all that daft, I hang up on them.
• I don't give my name or other info, until I've forced you to state what you want & your name. You have the advantage of me, you already know who you phoned, probably checked my web pages, give me parity, or I hang up.
• Sometimes the clueless ask if my number is ......., no way I'm answering that, I have about 10 numbers, won't check 'em all, & if the call is in German, or worse, Bavarian, I'm certainly not going to re-invert / decode all the inverted doublets of digits & worse jumbles, that Germans emit, then match that against a list (not to hand) of all of mine !

Do NOT give your name as the first word of the call !

Zu Erst: Was Wollen Sie Kaufen ? Nur Spater: Ihre Name & Firma Name !

• Unless you start by saying you will Buy Computer Consultancy
• Expect me to hang up, fast ! (Most callers in German whose voices I don't recognise, who can't pronounce my name are wasters selling junk or harvesting info).

• My computer shows & logs:
  • Name (not number) of any known caller, Or
  • Number of unknown caller, Or
  • "From NotAvailable" if old analogue or withheld
  • Which of my numbers you called, eg: business/ private/ clubs/ spammed from phone book, etc.
• If caller's number is NotAvailable
• • If a repeat caller, I may just pick up & say "Uh Huh !?" which forces caller to speak, & doesn't disclose which language I use by default.
    • they hate that, which pleases me,
    • until then they know who I should be, whereas I know nothing about them.
    • I get their language (often enough not German or English, but some foreigner) If I don't recognise their voice, & they demand to know who I am & they're not offering to purchase computer consultancy, they're Wasters & get Dumped.
  • If caller starts in German :
  • If a stranger fails to start by asking to buy Computer Consultancy ....
  • If I hear motor mouth Fast German from an unrecognised voice,
    • If I suspect a robotised pause for answer & sales queuer: Caller gets classified & filed as: "Waster" : The response varies, sometimes

    • (Sometimes I don't just hang up, I do better: I deliberately give initial answers to robot to engage the queue for human 2nd level response, then leave the phone on desk, occasionally using keys or speech to lock up their sales robot or human, so they can't waste so many other innocent people's time as well).

  • Or I interrupt more loudly in English ""ERR .. Do you want to buy Computer Consultancy ?" (Which last brought a friendly laugh & response in English from German sales girl), & a friendly & quick agreement we had no need to talk to each other.
  Both techniques worth using as I find having my concentration interrupted by phone, to be sold at in a foreign language by someone who hides his number, as most offensive, & worth inconveniencing them in return, to the extent, they might note my number as too troublesome to call again.
• Some clueless people from a moribund club used to phone me in German, re. English club events & mail lists I help run / organise, they ignored all of { the club's raison d'etre - to operate in English - & events info, my web pages, & mail list announcements I make are } all in English.
• I give a lot of time organising events, & running lists & servers, I can't afford to lose concentration & more time unpaid, listening in German, explaining & reasoning in German.
• Those club lists are nearly all for English speakers, so if you want my time unpaid: save me assuming you're another waster : Speak English at least until you get stuck, then we'll switch.)
• If you cant speak English, go join a German club instead, in Germany, finding a German speaking club isn't hard in Germany ;-) (though we've had a few weirdos who persevere in Not speaking English & want organisers & all others of various nationalities on an event to all speak German just 'cos one misfit can't listen in English

• I am English - Ich spreche auch Deutsch - Aber Nur Hoch- Deutsch ! * Nur Für Bezahlender Kunden ! Ich will Kein Bayerisch Hören oder Lernen!
• Give all you numbers in single digit strings - not German swapped digit pair format. - Bei Nummern, sagen sie einzelne Ziffern, links nach rechts, nicht Paarweise rum-gefummelt !
• I have the usual English difficulty recognising German pronunciation of individual alphabet letters. I don't recognise umlaut pronunciation at all.
• Use the International Alphabet (For both German & English).

Physically

Office Hours

Americans & Canadians resident in USA

European Time Zones Are Way Ahead From All American Time Zones !

Realise there is a World out there ! & It's way off from American clocks ! Sure some pay attention, but some don't care. Here's a graphic reminder of the globe:   On the other page with time zones etc ... Is Europe not on the right ? Has Europe rotated well into the dark ? Is Australia edging into the dawn ? Then do Not phone Europe now ! Email &/or phone tomorrow earlier. Phone Europe in the American morning, not at end of American West coast business day! I may take calls late my end, if motivated, & preferably after prior warning. It might be OK, Phoning late & trying, or by accident & saying eg "Oh is it that late your end, Are you tired ? Should I phone you earlier tomorrow ?" ... But ... Do NOT Aggressively Phone After Midnight & Demand I Work Examples of 2 stupid aggressive men who Failed to get what they demanded: A Toronto lawyer who persisted trying to negotiate stupid contract terms after being told it was 2 to 3 AM my end. The Canadian multi-national company he worked for phoned numerous times before & after midnight for non emergencies, The CFO & his lawyer engaged in evil to avoid their company paying our team for work done. We sued & got paid. A Californian Japanese programmer in a public domain project phoned & tried to force me to work immediately (unpaid) even after being told it was ~2 in the morning & I needed to sleep. I never worked with him. He too failed to get what he wanted.

Do Not Call outside European Business Hours
Unless you have already paid me or my company Money

I No Longer Trust Customer Assumptions That The Management Of Their Company Will Automatically Pay For Work Agreed Done - So A Deposit Is Often Required. So I don't work outside European Business Hours till I or my company receives money. No offence, but some companies are rogues, & a few at management level are dishonest & can not be trusted to stick to a deal & pay, even when a customer engineer signs off on acceptance test, & agrees the work's fine & the bill should be paid. Experience: Sued & won 2 debts, + dealt with 3 other attempted rip offs in 28 years. Companies usually pay their employees through hard times, as it's harder to evade paying employees than is to evade & / or delay paying external service providers So employee project managers etc may not always know if their company is short of cash. Even less can I predict if some customer top manager will perceive business circumstances change, & an order he signed last week may look less beneficial now, so a top manager may provoke a problem, as an excuse to terminate contract, & pose to his fellow executives, as tough, beating up a service provider he ordered from the week before. Before you phone me to work outside European Business Hours please first check your company has paid me or my company If your company hasn't paid me or my company yet Perhaps because I &/or colleagues & my company has been working flat out all hours for you & hasn't had time to pause technical work to assemble & issue a bill yet Get your company to issue me or my company an advance on services, some money Up Front (possibly in Escrow if we agree) I & my company won't work out of hours for your company on unsecured credit. Your company must front money or security. A signed contract is No security, just an aggravating obligation on both sides, with option to litigate to wait years for money. We don't work for that. If you want computer consultancy outside European business hours, prior to your company paying in to our account, get your local representative to go to your bank or their bank or cash machine (ATM) in Europe, & draw substantial cash or get a bankers draft issued, (Not a cheque drawn on your company account, & not a transfer that can be revoked). Americans etc: Do NOT Phone Me Before Checking MY Timezone! Experience shows local project managers of near all customers Can be trusted, but senior remote managers of some customers can Not be trusted. I work late, but & so: in the late night & early morning Only extremely urgent & important technical & service problems interest me, (eg multiple server failure), NOT merely arguing contract terms & money with idiot managers, lawyers, & programmers from Canada & USA - that can & must wait, it is NOT urgent! Learn at that time you don't matter & are irrelevant. I've had all of idiot American/ Canadian lawyers & managers for commercial companies, & non commercial volunteer FreeBSD project committers phone me in the middle of the night for non urgent rubbish, It did the callers & their companies & projects no benefit, they got nothing except contempt. Only if you have also already paid me or my company Only if first payment has already been received & verified cleared funds by my or my company's bank.

    CHECK CURRENT TIME IN CENTRAL EUROPE before phoning.

  Global Position Probably NOT Current,
Click For Real Global Position & Times,

• Make sure your browser & gateway are not caching old pages with old times! (To check, click reload a few times & see seconds increase).
• A "CEST" acronym means Central European Summer Time.

NO CALL WAITING (`Kein Anklopfen')

CONSIDER FACE TO FACE SOCIAL Instead. It May Be More Efficient ?

• Just as phone can be more efficient than email, for 1 to 1 interactive, ...
• Face to face is more efficient than phone: Phone time in my office takes my working time at screen,
• Save phone social chat for relaxing over a beer/ coffee at groups & events I & others help organise.
• Each weekend through the year I help arrange Beer Gardeners Group (inside in bad weather)
• & I sometimes join a midweek curry & other monthly engineers & occasional programmers meets, etc.

PHONE NUMBERS

The '+' Prefix

+49 241 ________ Desk
+49 ________ Mobile German
+44 ________ Mobile British
+ is international symbol for whatever it takes to get out
of country (used to be 010 in UK, probably also 00 works
now in UK) 00 works in Europe. Mobile phones automatically
emit what's appropriate to where they are if one stores
number as '+' better than '00'.

Call Rates & Call Back

Email, Mobile, Sms & Fax Numbers

• English / Britain / America

  URL	Comment
  www.whocalledme.net	2024-03-25 : retired on May 12, 2022,
  whocallsme.com	2024-03-25: alive
  shouldianswer.co.uk	2024-03-25: unlinked, fails, useless ad from germany to poland
  www.who-calls.uk	2024-03-25: unlinked domain squater
  dialcode.org	2024-03-25 : Dead search box. Click country to list city
  royalmail.com/find-a-postcode

• German / Germany / Austria

  URL	Comment	Sample URL to call from greptel3 (preceeded by greptel2 & greptel1
  wemgehoert.de	Number to name.	www.wemgehoert.de/nummer/03094645678
  anrufer.info	Number to name. With a map	anrufer.info/rufnummer/NUMBER
  anruf-info.ch	no use php
  anruf-von.de	no use php just orts codes
  telefonspion.de	Number to name.	Not possible, some PHP
  anrufercheck.de	appends space after town code	anrufercheck.de/rufnummer/NUMBER
  anruferradar.de/rufnummer	appends space after town code	anruferradar.de/rufnummer/NUMBER
  phonebookofmunich.com	No use	-
  www . bundesnetzagentur . de / DE / Sachgebiete / Telekommunikation / Unternehmen_Institutionen / Nummerierung / nummerierung_node . html	German government on numbering	-
  sat1.de/ratgeber	Article re. whats app	-

• Other

  URL	Comment
  countrycode.org
  widerspruch.org / ping-und-lock-anrufe-kostenfalle-meiden/
  heise.de / tipps-tricks / Anruf- zurueckverfolgen - so - funktioniert - die - Rueckwaertssuche - 4643587.html